Friday, 9 July 2010

I just don't get it...!

Salaam... I'm not THAT stressed out but it shows how I slightly feel

Ok so today my mum has said things that have really left me thinking 'what on Earth' :S she doesn't get me.!

As you know I have an older sis and very much of the time I am under her shadow! And this morning we were in the kitchen and my sis done sumin wrong or something and my mum start saying 'youve changed, education is making you like this, and you have too many friends, you dont concentrate on things at home, you need to sit with guests when they come and know how to host' etc... and it sounded like she was generalising her statements to me as well as her.

And there are many things irritable with this.
1. since the holidays started, more than 5 weeks ago, Ive gone out with uni friends once (and my sister was there aswel), and with school friends once. And yesterday one of my mates came over. Now is that too much???? My sister sees her friends and goes to their houses and goes out much more than me. and still I get this? :( what do I have to do?

2. Education- I said education doesnt make you like this, but mum said it has an influence. Ok studying a particular subject will change your behaviour and character? uhh I think it to be unlikely. And I clearly remember my mum comparing me to my sis when I was applying to uni, saying things like 'how come ur sister knew what she wanted to do years ago and you havent decided yet, you should have researched more, you have to get into this uni'... and now we are at 'fault' for going into education???
She wants us to do well but then why say things like this?

3. with the guests, not many people have come down recently but when they have (like the other day and the other week) I've been sitting there aswel with my mum. So again what more can I do?

4. I can somtimes tell that my sis has slightly become a bit lazy and she needs to control her anger more and work on her patience but we can all improve and I am trying so hard with these things, I usually stop the quarrels between siblings and try not to get involved and when things do happen I keep my kwl and just get on with whatever.
But we are not kids, ofcourse we are going to mature and develop our own sense of thinking, and even on the Islamic channels sometimes they speak about how parents, instead of understanding their kids (cos we are brought up in such different cultures), they try and change them to be the way they were. I think my mum does that, she quite often says things like 'when i was your age' 'i learnt to do this like this and that like that' 'we didnt go out' 'we didnt have computers' etc etc. But we do. And we cant change that because that is the way our generation is.

I dont know where she's picking these things from. Usually she gets influenced by some more traditional family friends. ucchhhhh.
It just knocked me down so much! I spend lots of time with the fam, especially with my lil bro and sis, I have much more patience with them and play with them more than my older sis who is usually occupied with video games or watching episodes of this and that. I go out like hardly at all compared to most people. (my school friends went out the other day, theyr going out today and theyr going out sometime next week and I am not going with them). I do sooo much cleaning! And mum knows I'm the only one who actually puts effort in to keep the house tidy.

Ah well... I guess I'll try more ? somehow.


  1. Aww hun, dont worry too much about it because this happens to alot of people. We can never totally please our parents, there's always going to be something they'll find fault with. Just do what you're doing, it sounds like you're already a good girl! :P and be patient with your parents, treat them long as you're making them happy even though you might not be, the only thing that should matter is that u're pleasing Allah (swt). Now, I know you're going to say..."How can I make them happy when they keep nagging?". Erm, I dont have the answer to that. haha. I guess you can just try your best and hope that you get rewarded for it inshaAllah. and remember, alot of cultural parents are like this, some are even worse. So be thankful Alhamdulilah. ;)

  2. lol... jazakAllah khair.
    Yup alhamdulillah I have a lot to be grateful for and I guess I am luckier than a lot of other people, my parents arent too bad. Plus I decided to go walk with mum to my lil brother and sisters school and on the way I spoke to her about it, the friends and going out stuff, and she did say that she knows I dont do things that my sister does and she didnt really mean it towards me. So thats cleared. And like you said I just gta keep trying my best and inshaAllah doing things so Allah will be pleased with me. ^_^

    xxx <3

  3. Well done for clearing the air with your mum.
    But it also might be worthwhile that it hurts yoru feelings when she makes these general statements as you feel they are also directed to you(even if she dont mean it).
    Also tell her to speak to your sister alone rather than mumble n grumble abotu it so the whoel house hears! That way the atmosphere b/w everyone else remains calm!

    And Effer...I swear we are the same person! Its scary how much our lives are paralelled! lol

    P.S Hows ramadhan prep going?

  4. Ye...I was thinking I should have spoke about that too but maybe next time. I know with mums though, when one thing ticks them off they just shout about every other lil problem they see along with it lol. But alhamdulillah whatever happens, helps me as a person aswel anyway so it's all gd.

    Lol I just commented on your Ramadan post and was thinking the same! Its starting off :) going well alhamdulillah. I'll post up now x