Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Too much clutter!

Salaam... Thankyou for the 'welcome back's :) makes me feel loved lol
I missed you girls!

InshaAllah I will be blogging again, but maybe once a week or so.
Things are soo busy these days! I'm always de-cluttering. I think I do it too much and that wastes time.

But I know de-cluttered space = a de-cluttered mind and a de-cluttered mind = increased productvitity and contentment (because time is being spent sincerely on things that actually matter).
As I said I evaluate myself a lot, maybe that has lead to the need to constantly de-clutter, is it a good thing?
I think so, but not when the de-cluttering takes up my spare time! lol

I go to uni, I am involved with the Islamic Society, I teach at a weekend Islamic school, I do weekly tutoring for a couple of hours and I am part of an online website team. These are my big committments. Then I have learning arabic (which has been neglected) and learning more about Islam (which has slowed down because I am trying to perfect and act on the knowledge alrady gained) and then there's learning about the universe (by watching no more than half an hour of vids on youtube, I do this because its so amazing and I feel like it makes my love for Allah even stronger). And I also paint as a hobby (which I need to make money from inshaAllah, but need more time). And then there's the basics- praying, quran, housework, visiting family, looking after family, looking after myself, assignments, lecture reading, islamic events... PHEW! It sounds like a lot, and feels like a lot more! lol... And I may be taking up another committment soon with an Eid committee... and my room needs to be tidied!! mess just annoys me so much especially if I feel like my head is a mess! lol.

Just needed your advice. Is there things which you think I should not focus on as much? Any way you think I can accomplish a lot and work at my best but still be involved in all of the above?

I need to change my routine a bit, Ive been working on early nights so I shall sleep after this post (just after 11pm).

It's just one of those days where I feel like a mess... had uni then meeting then tutoring then needed to do some uni work but didnt! (just wasted time looking for hoodies online!) anywho... any tips and/or encouragement would be greatly appreciated :)


p.s. I also used some free time today to de-clutter my hotmail inbox! now I only have a few unread messages as opposed to the previous 100+.. atleast something was achieved today lol

Friday, 8 October 2010

Guess whos back

Asalaamualikum :) I know I have been off the radar for a looonngg time...
just couldnt be bothered tbh

but an update-

sis is engaged and getting married next summer inshaAllah.

Mum just came back out from hospital again, after being there a week.

Uni has started again and I am a busy bee... but

a lot-ish has happened and alhamdulillah I have grown more

I've also recently been evaluating myself almost everyday, sometime I know I think too much. But sometimes we need to. To find ourself and keep our perspective on life the way it should be. Us and Allah.
Although I will learn from my mums mistake and talk more when I'm stressed rather than keeping it in. As she told me the other day 'I use to keep everything inside, I wouldnt even tell my parents anything about what was going wrong in the marriage and how hard it was, I thought I was strong, but I guess I was wrong'- she said this while in hospital the other day. And it woke me up some more, it's amazing how our hearts can grab onto things and re-awaken us again and again. I think I'm strong enough, maybe it's self-illusion.
And right now I am kinda just bit lost again, gathering up the positive thoughts and finding myself again to let the light of Allah into my heart. I feel it's been missing a bit, darkness crept in. But I've learnt a lot about myself, and about life. Still lots more to learn. Lots more.
But regarding Islam, I need to refresh the knowledge I already have and act on as much of it as I can step by step so I don't go back but keep stepping forward.

My mind just feels a bit cloudy right now. I know where I need to go, but the clouds seem to be thick so it's taking me a while. But if you walk to Allah He wil run to you so inshaAllah I will be super duper close to Him soon.