Friday, 8 October 2010

Guess whos back

Asalaamualikum :) I know I have been off the radar for a looonngg time...
just couldnt be bothered tbh

but an update-

sis is engaged and getting married next summer inshaAllah.

Mum just came back out from hospital again, after being there a week.

Uni has started again and I am a busy bee... but

a lot-ish has happened and alhamdulillah I have grown more

I've also recently been evaluating myself almost everyday, sometime I know I think too much. But sometimes we need to. To find ourself and keep our perspective on life the way it should be. Us and Allah.
Although I will learn from my mums mistake and talk more when I'm stressed rather than keeping it in. As she told me the other day 'I use to keep everything inside, I wouldnt even tell my parents anything about what was going wrong in the marriage and how hard it was, I thought I was strong, but I guess I was wrong'- she said this while in hospital the other day. And it woke me up some more, it's amazing how our hearts can grab onto things and re-awaken us again and again. I think I'm strong enough, maybe it's self-illusion.
And right now I am kinda just bit lost again, gathering up the positive thoughts and finding myself again to let the light of Allah into my heart. I feel it's been missing a bit, darkness crept in. But I've learnt a lot about myself, and about life. Still lots more to learn. Lots more.
But regarding Islam, I need to refresh the knowledge I already have and act on as much of it as I can step by step so I don't go back but keep stepping forward.

My mind just feels a bit cloudy right now. I know where I need to go, but the clouds seem to be thick so it's taking me a while. But if you walk to Allah He wil run to you so inshaAllah I will be super duper close to Him soon.

5 comments:

  1. Salam sis! Been wondering where you were :)
    InshaAllah you should use your blog to write out your feelings, it really does help!

    xx take care, inshaAllah hope all is well!

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  2. Salam! It's so good to see you back and blogging again Alhamdulillah.

    Mabrook to your sister...may Allah bless her and her future spouse with all the happiness in the world...to complete one half of her Deen...you must be so happy for her!

    And as for yourself - sA man, it's the way of the human to never be consistent. I know what you mean when you talk about re-connecting and becoming closer [I miss Ramadan :(]...but inshA good intentions will lead to even better actions. inshA inshA. x

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  3. Good to see you back! Congrats to your sister :) and respect for evaluating yourself everyday- way to go!

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  4. welcome back sis.

    I can empathise with you with tryign to make sense of life. It can be so confusing and stressful. I guess the only thing we should remember is to keep strong and keep the faith!!

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