Monday, 5 April 2010

Want some change!

And I am back from the Islamic conference. I really didnt want to leave, I had such an amazing time, learnt ALOT, met more sisters, had a great time chilling and staying up with the cardiffian and london room mates, and the shopping! New abayas and scarfs and more scarfs!
I'm too tired to go into detail about the lectures but they were soooo good! Humorous but direct and made very important points.
The past few mornings i stayed awake till fajr prayed fajr outside and just had easy-going days (no little children ro look after, no housework to do) it was amazing!
I sure wouldnt mind going there every month.

Now I'm back here. Old routine. And a big list of things to do, and these things are on going not just a small to-do list!
I've had a cold since thrusday and at Jimas i stayed up alot so got like 2 or 3 hours sleep a day and right now I just feel like nocking out. But dad wants me to help him with stuff, as soon as im back i already have people asking of me. Of course I wont refuse but its stressing me out because I'm ill and tired and want to go through my islamic notes and need to revise!!

I loved that bit of change, wish it could have been longer :( and now i want to move away from here, like move house. I just feel fed up here. It was like a different country in Liecester, maybe because we were all Muslims at the same place for the same reason and were so relaxed because islam was the only thing we were concerned about, but now I'm back to my duties, my studies, my family and I don't know where I'm going.

It's such a confued, frustrated, kind of worried feeling.
Confused because I don't know how to do what I want in life, frustrated because I'm so bored of the same old routine here and i feel like so much is needed to be done but I can't do it! And I'm worried because what if I fail in my goals and expectations. I don't think I explained it good enough but I don't understand it myself lol.
I think i might just need some sleep! Better read Salah and help dad, then I'll sleep.


  1. Theres great reward in helping people.
    But you are not well so dont be afraid to ask people to let you recover fully. I am sure those asking wont mind waiting a day or two til your feeling well.

    And I totally understand how you feel about lifes routine. We are so far from practising Islam in our day to day lives that it depresses you without you realising!
    I have noticed though, If I am doing mundane tasks then I recite durood shareef constantly...or whilst im cleaning i'll put some recitations on....this way you soul is still being nourished whilst doing your daily tasks! Whilst im revising or making notes, I'll play Al Asma ul Husna constantly and read the names along with the speaker!
    I feel far less depressed and sleep better at night!

  2. Ye i try to fill my time with islamic stuff, like you with the revising and cleaning i always do dhikr and put nasheeds on or something
    It does help

    but the overall daily routine is a big tedious. I just feel like moving house. Doing things differently. I think i just want to get married lol