I know I took a longgg time to get here. But I lost my passport and could not get into the shuttle! (I forgot my username and passowrd and couldn't log on to blogger! lol) Until yesterday when I remembered how to get in. And I am losing the commitement of going through the book and typing things up lol but no I WILL EXPLORE SPACE!
Ok into Venus we go...
First and foremost, the Venusians have different values. They value love <3, communication, beauty and relationships. They give a lot of help and support to each other and they gain a sense of self through their feelings and the quality of their relationships, through sharing and relating they gain fulfillment.
Their world is rather opposite to that of the Martians, whereas Martians love work and technology, Venusians' main concern is living in harmony and cooperation. They do not wear the outfit of competence, rather they wear outfits to express their feelings and may change several times aday because of their changing moods. Rather than achieving succss they feel it is more important to share personal feelings. Ok guys, to understand this about women you need to relate it to the feeling you have when you accomplish a goal or solve a problem.
They are very involved in personal growth and everything that can nurture life, they are very intuitive and a sign of great love is to offer help when another Venusian is in need of it. Offering help to Venusians from Venusians is not seen as offensive because they dont need to prove their competence, and asking for help or needing help is not seen as a sign of weakness.
However when a woman offers advice to a man, he may feel offended because he will think she is doubting him or not trusting his baility to be able to do things by himself and may make him feel incompetent and weak. But when a man offers his advice to her, she likes it because it makes her feel loved and cherished. Offering advice is seen as an act of love and Venusians like to point out things that can be improved because improving things is in their nature and they believe if something is working it can always work better. However on Mars, as everything is solution-orientated, Martians believe if something is working then don't change it- 'Don't fix it unless it is broken'
This Mars motto means that if a woman tries to improve a man, he will feel like she is trying to fix him! = 'am I broken??? I am broken?? :S no I am not so why is she trying to fix me?'
Girls, don't try to fix him, even though our intentions are innocent and loving- we just want to help him grow, he is from another planet so your attempt to help may result in him being humiliated! Think twice.
Martians and Venusians have great attributes, but most of the time they fail to use them correctly with the correct timing and correct approach. Men need to be aware that if a woman is babbling on about her problems and everything from A-Z YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX THEM ALL...just listen. She is not solution orientated like a man, so if you offer lots and lots of solutions and yet she still keeps talking about her problems, don't worry, she doesn't necessarily need the solutions, all she needs is your ears! She doesn't need to be fixed and will most likely get better on her own.
And women, unecessary soliciting should be avoided, especially if he has made a mistake. It will make him feel un-loved and controlled. He needs your acceptance more than your adivce to make him learn from his mistakes. e.g.
1- Venusian- 'Oh look what you've done! Why did you do this you should have done this like this and not like that! Next time do this like that and that like this and this wont happen again! I already told you before'= Martian 'what's wrong with you woman! I know what I'm doing, stop nagging me!'
2- Venusian- 'Oh no, you've done it again. Never mind it's fine we can sort it out later, thes things happen'= Martian 'aw I'm sorry dear, next time I know what to do'
A bit extreme examples but you get the picture. Last point-
A woman does appreciate Mr. Fix-it, as long as he doesn't come out when she is upset. And a man does greatly appreciate the suggestions of improvement from a woman but as long as it is requested.
In the next post we will look at what happens when a Martian and Venusian reject the percieved sign of love and care from the other. (Rejecting the advice and rejecting the imrpovement)