Asalaamualikum :) I know I have been off the radar for a looonngg time...
just couldnt be bothered tbh
but an update-
sis is engaged and getting married next summer inshaAllah.
Mum just came back out from hospital again, after being there a week.
Uni has started again and I am a busy bee... but
a lot-ish has happened and alhamdulillah I have grown more
I've also recently been evaluating myself almost everyday, sometime I know I think too much. But sometimes we need to. To find ourself and keep our perspective on life the way it should be. Us and Allah.
Although I will learn from my mums mistake and talk more when I'm stressed rather than keeping it in. As she told me the other day 'I use to keep everything inside, I wouldnt even tell my parents anything about what was going wrong in the marriage and how hard it was, I thought I was strong, but I guess I was wrong'- she said this while in hospital the other day. And it woke me up some more, it's amazing how our hearts can grab onto things and re-awaken us again and again. I think I'm strong enough, maybe it's self-illusion.
And right now I am kinda just bit lost again, gathering up the positive thoughts and finding myself again to let the light of Allah into my heart. I feel it's been missing a bit, darkness crept in. But I've learnt a lot about myself, and about life. Still lots more to learn. Lots more.
But regarding Islam, I need to refresh the knowledge I already have and act on as much of it as I can step by step so I don't go back but keep stepping forward.
My mind just feels a bit cloudy right now. I know where I need to go, but the clouds seem to be thick so it's taking me a while. But if you walk to Allah He wil run to you so inshaAllah I will be super duper close to Him soon.
Friday, 8 October 2010
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Just natter :)
Asalaamulaikum :D
I know it's been about 2 weeks since I last posted something. A lot has been going on.
Finding myself again, went through such great lifts of emaan ALHAMDULILLAH I've been at such peace.
Mum's in hospital again
And there's been talks about sisters marriage.
As for myself. Give it a few months inshaAllah and I can tell the parents. (Providing my sister's side of things is confirmed and clear and I have my sister's support and a good script ready lol)
Right now I am just sooo looking forward to Ramadan. I'm worried I won't get things done though :( these days time is going scarily fast and as each day passes, evening time approaches and I always ask myself- what have I done today that has been of benefit for my akhirah, and the answers worry me! lol. But even if I am with family, I should make my intentions pure and inshaAllah Allah will reward that, I am always remembering Allah in everything I do though so alhamdulillah I am always aware I need to use time wisely.
Like today, had family around and kids and cousins and grandmother and aunty, so did alot of feeding and dishes and just keeping company (as one of my cousins is disabled) and maybe that was going on for about 5hours, I spoke to my cousin about Islam, make sure she knows the basics, and I remembered the hadith about 'if a person looks after the needs of another then Allah will look after his needs', I think I will remmeber that all the time when doing things for the fam :) makes me feel like my time is spent in a good way...rather than thinking I havent accomplished anything.
I'm kinda tired now. I won't be blogging much from now I don't think. Unless I really have to. I just need to come on before Ramadan once more to remind myself of my Ramadan goals :D
I hope you're all well.
I pray Allah makes you able to reap the full benefits of Ramadan and keeps you strong in emaan throughout the year.
x
I know it's been about 2 weeks since I last posted something. A lot has been going on.
Finding myself again, went through such great lifts of emaan ALHAMDULILLAH I've been at such peace.
Mum's in hospital again
And there's been talks about sisters marriage.
As for myself. Give it a few months inshaAllah and I can tell the parents. (Providing my sister's side of things is confirmed and clear and I have my sister's support and a good script ready lol)
Right now I am just sooo looking forward to Ramadan. I'm worried I won't get things done though :( these days time is going scarily fast and as each day passes, evening time approaches and I always ask myself- what have I done today that has been of benefit for my akhirah, and the answers worry me! lol. But even if I am with family, I should make my intentions pure and inshaAllah Allah will reward that, I am always remembering Allah in everything I do though so alhamdulillah I am always aware I need to use time wisely.
Like today, had family around and kids and cousins and grandmother and aunty, so did alot of feeding and dishes and just keeping company (as one of my cousins is disabled) and maybe that was going on for about 5hours, I spoke to my cousin about Islam, make sure she knows the basics, and I remembered the hadith about 'if a person looks after the needs of another then Allah will look after his needs', I think I will remmeber that all the time when doing things for the fam :) makes me feel like my time is spent in a good way...rather than thinking I havent accomplished anything.
I'm kinda tired now. I won't be blogging much from now I don't think. Unless I really have to. I just need to come on before Ramadan once more to remind myself of my Ramadan goals :D
I hope you're all well.
I pray Allah makes you able to reap the full benefits of Ramadan and keeps you strong in emaan throughout the year.
x
Friday, 23 July 2010
Productive Ramadan
Asalaamulaikum :D
I came across a GREAT initiative!! For Ramadan. I am soooo excited about it and this project that will be going on looks super awesome!
Awesome enough for me to share it with you guys. Please join in, sign up to the mailing list and make your Ramadan veryy Productive!
Don't forget to share on your blogs please and share through facebook, twitter, e-mail etc.
Imagine the reward for helping people to make the most of their Ramadan. Muslims will no longer have a lazy image when Ramadan comes, lets revive the Ummah and bring back the productivity of Islam into our lives
Click this link- ProductiveRamadan.com
X
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
Ramadan...It's coming!!!!! ^_^
Salaaammm lovellyyy people. I am alhamdulillah in a very good mood :D
Ramadan is sooo close! I am fasting today, didn't realise it was 1st Sha'ban though when I woke up before Fajr lol. Alhamdulillah it's going ok... I know I need to really take my iron tablets before Ramadan though, so I dont get too weak.
I just wanted to post up my Ramadan goals... Last year I didn't really have any aims but I did finish reading the english translation of the meaning of the Quran and I did learn a few dua's and things but this year, I am aiming HIGH.
A few aims which I hope to achieve this Ramadan:
- Finish the Qur'an (I always attempt this but either just about make it or fall a bit short because of that time... have to work around it and make sure I dont fall behind!)
- Memorize Allah's names (preferably with meaning, I knew them before but then I went down to just knowing the arabic and now even the arabic ones I've forgotten some and just get mixed up)
- Read through the translation of the meaning of the Quran (yup I haven't read through it since last year!)
- Learn Qur'anic arabic. (A shortcourse can be found at- understandquran.com just click on short courses and go on 'English 2007' Ive had a brief skim and it looks ok.)
- Learn daily dua's (for everyday things like changing clothes, leaving the house, when it rains etc. etc.)
- Try and learn as much as I can about the Seerah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam
- Memorize a few surahs (I want to know atleast 25 of the last ones in Juz 30, I know some already, and if I can maybe a bigger one like surah Fajr, Naba, Mulk, Waqiah or something)
- I want to hold an islamic cirlce at my house a few times a week after taraweeh inshaAllah. Always great to remember Allah and be surrounded by angels, especially in Ramadan :)
- And if I can fit this in, I want to learn about the sahabah, even if I know just an overall picture of the ones most commonly mentioned
and yup that's what I aim to accomplish inshaAllah. I'm so excited! And the past couple of days have been rather great because I think I am actually learning to manage my time well. I have a to-do list and write everything big and small on it and now I have less time just sitting around thinking of something to do and more time getting through what needs to be done. And if I do have a moment of doing nothing I feel like 'time is wastinnnng...must find something to do..!' and just pick up an islamic book or something :) it's rather productive. Alhamdulillah.
May Allah help us all to make the most of the blessed month of Ramadan, accept our deeds and make us firm on the Deen. Ameen.
Friday, 9 July 2010
I just don't get it...!
Salaam... I'm not THAT stressed out but it shows how I slightly feel
Ok so today my mum has said things that have really left me thinking 'what on Earth' :S she doesn't get me.!
As you know I have an older sis and very much of the time I am under her shadow! And this morning we were in the kitchen and my sis done sumin wrong or something and my mum start saying 'youve changed, education is making you like this, and you have too many friends, you dont concentrate on things at home, you need to sit with guests when they come and know how to host' etc... and it sounded like she was generalising her statements to me as well as her.
And there are many things irritable with this.
1. since the holidays started, more than 5 weeks ago, Ive gone out with uni friends once (and my sister was there aswel), and with school friends once. And yesterday one of my mates came over. Now is that too much???? My sister sees her friends and goes to their houses and goes out much more than me. and still I get this? :( what do I have to do?
2. Education- I said education doesnt make you like this, but mum said it has an influence. Ok studying a particular subject will change your behaviour and character? uhh I think it to be unlikely. And I clearly remember my mum comparing me to my sis when I was applying to uni, saying things like 'how come ur sister knew what she wanted to do years ago and you havent decided yet, you should have researched more, you have to get into this uni'... and now we are at 'fault' for going into education???
She wants us to do well but then why say things like this?
3. with the guests, not many people have come down recently but when they have (like the other day and the other week) I've been sitting there aswel with my mum. So again what more can I do?
4. I can somtimes tell that my sis has slightly become a bit lazy and she needs to control her anger more and work on her patience but we can all improve and I am trying so hard with these things, I usually stop the quarrels between siblings and try not to get involved and when things do happen I keep my kwl and just get on with whatever.
But we are not kids, ofcourse we are going to mature and develop our own sense of thinking, and even on the Islamic channels sometimes they speak about how parents, instead of understanding their kids (cos we are brought up in such different cultures), they try and change them to be the way they were. I think my mum does that, she quite often says things like 'when i was your age' 'i learnt to do this like this and that like that' 'we didnt go out' 'we didnt have computers' etc etc. But we do. And we cant change that because that is the way our generation is.
I dont know where she's picking these things from. Usually she gets influenced by some more traditional family friends. ucchhhhh.
It just knocked me down so much! I spend lots of time with the fam, especially with my lil bro and sis, I have much more patience with them and play with them more than my older sis who is usually occupied with video games or watching episodes of this and that. I go out like hardly at all compared to most people. (my school friends went out the other day, theyr going out today and theyr going out sometime next week and I am not going with them). I do sooo much cleaning! And mum knows I'm the only one who actually puts effort in to keep the house tidy.
Ah well... I guess I'll try more ? somehow.
Ok so today my mum has said things that have really left me thinking 'what on Earth' :S she doesn't get me.!
As you know I have an older sis and very much of the time I am under her shadow! And this morning we were in the kitchen and my sis done sumin wrong or something and my mum start saying 'youve changed, education is making you like this, and you have too many friends, you dont concentrate on things at home, you need to sit with guests when they come and know how to host' etc... and it sounded like she was generalising her statements to me as well as her.
And there are many things irritable with this.
1. since the holidays started, more than 5 weeks ago, Ive gone out with uni friends once (and my sister was there aswel), and with school friends once. And yesterday one of my mates came over. Now is that too much???? My sister sees her friends and goes to their houses and goes out much more than me. and still I get this? :( what do I have to do?
2. Education- I said education doesnt make you like this, but mum said it has an influence. Ok studying a particular subject will change your behaviour and character? uhh I think it to be unlikely. And I clearly remember my mum comparing me to my sis when I was applying to uni, saying things like 'how come ur sister knew what she wanted to do years ago and you havent decided yet, you should have researched more, you have to get into this uni'... and now we are at 'fault' for going into education???
She wants us to do well but then why say things like this?
3. with the guests, not many people have come down recently but when they have (like the other day and the other week) I've been sitting there aswel with my mum. So again what more can I do?
4. I can somtimes tell that my sis has slightly become a bit lazy and she needs to control her anger more and work on her patience but we can all improve and I am trying so hard with these things, I usually stop the quarrels between siblings and try not to get involved and when things do happen I keep my kwl and just get on with whatever.
But we are not kids, ofcourse we are going to mature and develop our own sense of thinking, and even on the Islamic channels sometimes they speak about how parents, instead of understanding their kids (cos we are brought up in such different cultures), they try and change them to be the way they were. I think my mum does that, she quite often says things like 'when i was your age' 'i learnt to do this like this and that like that' 'we didnt go out' 'we didnt have computers' etc etc. But we do. And we cant change that because that is the way our generation is.
I dont know where she's picking these things from. Usually she gets influenced by some more traditional family friends. ucchhhhh.
It just knocked me down so much! I spend lots of time with the fam, especially with my lil bro and sis, I have much more patience with them and play with them more than my older sis who is usually occupied with video games or watching episodes of this and that. I go out like hardly at all compared to most people. (my school friends went out the other day, theyr going out today and theyr going out sometime next week and I am not going with them). I do sooo much cleaning! And mum knows I'm the only one who actually puts effort in to keep the house tidy.
Ah well... I guess I'll try more ? somehow.
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Awards
Ok so here I dub the following for the blogger award: (I have to leave it at 5 cos im not much of a blogger I dont really atually follow many.
drum roll...
1. Khadijah at 'for the love of Islam'
2. Amira at 'Reviving the Sunnah'
3. Lebeyee at 'Lebeyee says'
4. LabellaIman at 'Lifes Balance Beam'
5. KAV-Z at 'Insert Title Here'
drum roll...
1. Khadijah at 'for the love of Islam'
2. Amira at 'Reviving the Sunnah'
3. Lebeyee at 'Lebeyee says'
4. LabellaIman at 'Lifes Balance Beam'
5. KAV-Z at 'Insert Title Here'
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
Turning tables
Woop woop! Salaam dudes and dudettes.
I was going to write a post to weigh out the pros and cons of Mr Zahid, but then I thought that would be like exposing his faults, so I decided to leave it, instead I'll just say what you all probably know by now- he seems confused, doesnt know where to put his priorities? too busy? Although his emaan seems really good, he has quite a lot of knowledge mashaAllah he is funny and has good looks and is focused on his goal of helping the Ummah... but ye so I am just letting go of the whole situation
and focusing on deeny matters :) got soooo much to do, read, learn. And especially as Ramadan is cominngggg!!! :D
Oh and yay I have an award for blogging!
From my lovely big sis in Islam Is-za Jelass Thankyou :) now I have defo got to raise standard of my blog. I know exactly how (I think lol).Ok the rules of the award are to say where you see in yourself in 10 years and also pass the award on to 10 other bloggers.
Hmm.... this will take me a while...
In 10 years INSHAALLAH I want to be here or in an Islamic country, with a stable family life with about 2 beautiful children and a very practising Muslim husband from the west. I want to be studying Islam and teaching it to others in my own Islamic school or class sort of thing. Even if it is a just a weekly class with about 30 children. I intend to be living a very simple life, no extravagance or riches just Allah, Islam and my family (ofcourse a small house and food aswel! oh and maybe camel :) ) I want to have my own psychological practice/ clinic (if I have done a phD by then) or work in a place that gives councel and adivce to Muslims and those with mental problems or be a marriage mentor. Whichever way the wind blows. Just something so that I can try and get rid of some distress from peoples lives. I also want to adopt an orphan! Definately.
From now I aim to study Islam with the resources I have, try and get closer to the Qur'an to get closer to Allah and memorise as much of the Qur'an as I can after learning tajweed, I want to learn the arabic language and be an aalima (inshaAllah!)that is something I reallyyyy want to do, and I want to have a little side business of maybe selling some art and donating some of the earnings to charity, I also aim to learn the exercise of Rakha and become an instructor so I can benefit the Muslim women and their health as well as myself. And ofcourse studying in uni to my best so I can be in the job I want inshaAllah
Ok I feel like I dont have enough aims lol maybe I do and more will add on as tim goes but I just need to make sure I find the means to reach these goals and STICK TO THEM! inshaAllah. I feel very motivated now so I will begin doing today what I can.
Keep each other in your du'as :) May Allah give us all success in everything we do, help us to do it for His pleasure and work in His cause, and keep us guided on the straight path. Ameen
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