Get Ready for Marriage

Asalaamulaikum! I know I have alienated blogger and blogging! Ah well what to do, life is so busy and so fast!
Half te time I cant even log in because I forget my password/ username looll

Anyways I managed to get in now because I wanted to share a link, very important for the sisters, I just signed up and I am sure it's going to be a worthwhile experience!
One thing I aim to get out of it is to find myself! My stable self! I thought I was stable and had my footing secure but things happened and turns out I wasn't as secure as I thought, or maybe I'm just maturing and my thinking and views are developing, never the less I need to get this spouse search going while improving myself too.

Check out the following link and share it inshaAllah

Practimate">Practimate

Tackling Pornography Addiction

Salaam!! :D looongg time again!

Just wanted to share a link or two with you to share with EVERYONE!
Brother Zeyad Ramadan had started a campaign to help Muslims with pornography addiciton. Trust me ude be surprised how many people need help with this issue!

As Muslims we need to help our brothers, help the families, imagine how many marriages can be saved by raising awareness of this issue and helping people get help to recover from such addictions.

**Purify Your Gaze 5 week training program registration is now OPEN**
+ bonuses for those who register early!

http://www.purifyyourgaze.com/cmd.php?Clk=4034846

For more info about the campaign check out :

http://www.purifyyourgaze.com/cmd.php?af=1260871

There are also really interesting videos that have been shared the past couple of weeks. Here they are:

Video #1
The elephant in the masjid:
(Sorry I cant find the link for this but follow any of the other links and inshaAllah you will find it sooner or later)

Video #2
Story of a brother who broke free from his 24year addiciton to pornography!
href="http://www.purifyyourgaze.com/cmd.php?Clk=4019834

Video #3
Steps to purifying your gaze:
http://www.purifyyourgaze.com/cmd.php?Clk=4024715

Video #4
http://www.purifyyourgaze.com/cmd.php?Clk=4031667

Please do share this content with EVERYONE! Help tackle the issue that so many are suffering from but so many shun away!

P.s. Registraion (+ bonuses) closes on Friday 10th December!

Too much clutter!

Salaam... Thankyou for the 'welcome back's :) makes me feel loved lol
I missed you girls!

InshaAllah I will be blogging again, but maybe once a week or so.
Things are soo busy these days! I'm always de-cluttering. I think I do it too much and that wastes time.



But I know de-cluttered space = a de-cluttered mind and a de-cluttered mind = increased productvitity and contentment (because time is being spent sincerely on things that actually matter).
As I said I evaluate myself a lot, maybe that has lead to the need to constantly de-clutter, is it a good thing?
I think so, but not when the de-cluttering takes up my spare time! lol

I go to uni, I am involved with the Islamic Society, I teach at a weekend Islamic school, I do weekly tutoring for a couple of hours and I am part of an online website team. These are my big committments. Then I have learning arabic (which has been neglected) and learning more about Islam (which has slowed down because I am trying to perfect and act on the knowledge alrady gained) and then there's learning about the universe (by watching no more than half an hour of vids on youtube, I do this because its so amazing and I feel like it makes my love for Allah even stronger). And I also paint as a hobby (which I need to make money from inshaAllah, but need more time). And then there's the basics- praying, quran, housework, visiting family, looking after family, looking after myself, assignments, lecture reading, islamic events... PHEW! It sounds like a lot, and feels like a lot more! lol... And I may be taking up another committment soon with an Eid committee... and my room needs to be tidied!! mess just annoys me so much especially if I feel like my head is a mess! lol.

Just needed your advice. Is there things which you think I should not focus on as much? Any way you think I can accomplish a lot and work at my best but still be involved in all of the above?

I need to change my routine a bit, Ive been working on early nights so I shall sleep after this post (just after 11pm).

It's just one of those days where I feel like a mess... had uni then meeting then tutoring then needed to do some uni work but didnt! (just wasted time looking for hoodies online!) anywho... any tips and/or encouragement would be greatly appreciated :)

X

p.s. I also used some free time today to de-clutter my hotmail inbox! now I only have a few unread messages as opposed to the previous 100+.. atleast something was achieved today lol

Guess whos back

Asalaamualikum :) I know I have been off the radar for a looonngg time...
just couldnt be bothered tbh

but an update-

sis is engaged and getting married next summer inshaAllah.

Mum just came back out from hospital again, after being there a week.

Uni has started again and I am a busy bee... but

a lot-ish has happened and alhamdulillah I have grown more

I've also recently been evaluating myself almost everyday, sometime I know I think too much. But sometimes we need to. To find ourself and keep our perspective on life the way it should be. Us and Allah.
Although I will learn from my mums mistake and talk more when I'm stressed rather than keeping it in. As she told me the other day 'I use to keep everything inside, I wouldnt even tell my parents anything about what was going wrong in the marriage and how hard it was, I thought I was strong, but I guess I was wrong'- she said this while in hospital the other day. And it woke me up some more, it's amazing how our hearts can grab onto things and re-awaken us again and again. I think I'm strong enough, maybe it's self-illusion.
And right now I am kinda just bit lost again, gathering up the positive thoughts and finding myself again to let the light of Allah into my heart. I feel it's been missing a bit, darkness crept in. But I've learnt a lot about myself, and about life. Still lots more to learn. Lots more.
But regarding Islam, I need to refresh the knowledge I already have and act on as much of it as I can step by step so I don't go back but keep stepping forward.

My mind just feels a bit cloudy right now. I know where I need to go, but the clouds seem to be thick so it's taking me a while. But if you walk to Allah He wil run to you so inshaAllah I will be super duper close to Him soon.

Just natter :)

Asalaamulaikum :D

I know it's been about 2 weeks since I last posted something. A lot has been going on.

Finding myself again, went through such great lifts of emaan ALHAMDULILLAH I've been at such peace.
Mum's in hospital again
And there's been talks about sisters marriage.
As for myself. Give it a few months inshaAllah and I can tell the parents. (Providing my sister's side of things is confirmed and clear and I have my sister's support and a good script ready lol)

Right now I am just sooo looking forward to Ramadan. I'm worried I won't get things done though :( these days time is going scarily fast and as each day passes, evening time approaches and I always ask myself- what have I done today that has been of benefit for my akhirah, and the answers worry me! lol. But even if I am with family, I should make my intentions pure and inshaAllah Allah will reward that, I am always remembering Allah in everything I do though so alhamdulillah I am always aware I need to use time wisely.

Like today, had family around and kids and cousins and grandmother and aunty, so did alot of feeding and dishes and just keeping company (as one of my cousins is disabled) and maybe that was going on for about 5hours, I spoke to my cousin about Islam, make sure she knows the basics, and I remembered the hadith about 'if a person looks after the needs of another then Allah will look after his needs', I think I will remmeber that all the time when doing things for the fam :) makes me feel like my time is spent in a good way...rather than thinking I havent accomplished anything.

I'm kinda tired now. I won't be blogging much from now I don't think. Unless I really have to. I just need to come on before Ramadan once more to remind myself of my Ramadan goals :D

I hope you're all well.

I pray Allah makes you able to reap the full benefits of Ramadan and keeps you strong in emaan throughout the year.

x

Productive Ramadan

Asalaamulaikum :D

I came across a GREAT initiative!! For Ramadan. I am soooo excited about it and this project that will be going on looks super awesome!

Awesome enough for me to share it with you guys. Please join in, sign up to the mailing list and make your Ramadan veryy Productive!

Don't forget to share on your blogs please and share through facebook, twitter, e-mail etc.
Imagine the reward for helping people to make the most of their Ramadan. Muslims will no longer have a lazy image when Ramadan comes, lets revive the Ummah and bring back the productivity of Islam into our lives

Click this link- ProductiveRamadan.com

X

Ramadan...It's coming!!!!! ^_^

Salaaammm lovellyyy people. I am alhamdulillah in a very good mood :D

Ramadan is sooo close! I am fasting today, didn't realise it was 1st Sha'ban though when I woke up before Fajr lol. Alhamdulillah it's going ok... I know I need to really take my iron tablets before Ramadan though, so I dont get too weak.

I just wanted to post up my Ramadan goals... Last year I didn't really have any aims but I did finish reading the english translation of the meaning of the Quran and I did learn a few dua's and things but this year, I am aiming HIGH.
A few aims which I hope to achieve this Ramadan:

- Finish the Qur'an (I always attempt this but either just about make it or fall a bit short because of that time... have to work around it and make sure I dont fall behind!)

- Memorize Allah's names (preferably with meaning, I knew them before but then I went down to just knowing the arabic and now even the arabic ones I've forgotten some and just get mixed up)

- Read through the translation of the meaning of the Quran (yup I haven't read through it since last year!)

- Learn Qur'anic arabic. (A shortcourse can be found at- understandquran.com just click on short courses and go on 'English 2007' Ive had a brief skim and it looks ok.)

- Learn daily dua's (for everyday things like changing clothes, leaving the house, when it rains etc. etc.)

- Try and learn as much as I can about the Seerah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu 'alaihi wa sallam

- Memorize a few surahs (I want to know atleast 25 of the last ones in Juz 30, I know some already, and if I can maybe a bigger one like surah Fajr, Naba, Mulk, Waqiah or something)

- I want to hold an islamic cirlce at my house a few times a week after taraweeh inshaAllah. Always great to remember Allah and be surrounded by angels, especially in Ramadan :)

- And if I can fit this in, I want to learn about the sahabah, even if I know just an overall picture of the ones most commonly mentioned

and yup that's what I aim to accomplish inshaAllah. I'm so excited! And the past couple of days have been rather great because I think I am actually learning to manage my time well. I have a to-do list and write everything big and small on it and now I have less time just sitting around thinking of something to do and more time getting through what needs to be done. And if I do have a moment of doing nothing I feel like 'time is wastinnnng...must find something to do..!' and just pick up an islamic book or something :) it's rather productive. Alhamdulillah.

May Allah help us all to make the most of the blessed month of Ramadan, accept our deeds and make us firm on the Deen. Ameen.

I just don't get it...!

Salaam... I'm not THAT stressed out but it shows how I slightly feel


Ok so today my mum has said things that have really left me thinking 'what on Earth' :S she doesn't get me.!

As you know I have an older sis and very much of the time I am under her shadow! And this morning we were in the kitchen and my sis done sumin wrong or something and my mum start saying 'youve changed, education is making you like this, and you have too many friends, you dont concentrate on things at home, you need to sit with guests when they come and know how to host' etc... and it sounded like she was generalising her statements to me as well as her.

And there are many things irritable with this.
1. since the holidays started, more than 5 weeks ago, Ive gone out with uni friends once (and my sister was there aswel), and with school friends once. And yesterday one of my mates came over. Now is that too much???? My sister sees her friends and goes to their houses and goes out much more than me. and still I get this? :( what do I have to do?

2. Education- I said education doesnt make you like this, but mum said it has an influence. Ok studying a particular subject will change your behaviour and character? uhh I think it to be unlikely. And I clearly remember my mum comparing me to my sis when I was applying to uni, saying things like 'how come ur sister knew what she wanted to do years ago and you havent decided yet, you should have researched more, you have to get into this uni'... and now we are at 'fault' for going into education???
She wants us to do well but then why say things like this?

3. with the guests, not many people have come down recently but when they have (like the other day and the other week) I've been sitting there aswel with my mum. So again what more can I do?

4. I can somtimes tell that my sis has slightly become a bit lazy and she needs to control her anger more and work on her patience but we can all improve and I am trying so hard with these things, I usually stop the quarrels between siblings and try not to get involved and when things do happen I keep my kwl and just get on with whatever.
But we are not kids, ofcourse we are going to mature and develop our own sense of thinking, and even on the Islamic channels sometimes they speak about how parents, instead of understanding their kids (cos we are brought up in such different cultures), they try and change them to be the way they were. I think my mum does that, she quite often says things like 'when i was your age' 'i learnt to do this like this and that like that' 'we didnt go out' 'we didnt have computers' etc etc. But we do. And we cant change that because that is the way our generation is.

I dont know where she's picking these things from. Usually she gets influenced by some more traditional family friends. ucchhhhh.
It just knocked me down so much! I spend lots of time with the fam, especially with my lil bro and sis, I have much more patience with them and play with them more than my older sis who is usually occupied with video games or watching episodes of this and that. I go out like hardly at all compared to most people. (my school friends went out the other day, theyr going out today and theyr going out sometime next week and I am not going with them). I do sooo much cleaning! And mum knows I'm the only one who actually puts effort in to keep the house tidy.

Ah well... I guess I'll try more ? somehow.

Awards

Ok so here I dub the following for the blogger award: (I have to leave it at 5 cos im not much of a blogger I dont really atually follow many.

drum roll...

1. Khadijah at 'for the love of Islam'

2. Amira at 'Reviving the Sunnah'

3. Lebeyee at 'Lebeyee says'

4. LabellaIman at 'Lifes Balance Beam'

5. KAV-Z at 'Insert Title Here'

Turning tables

Woop woop! Salaam dudes and dudettes.

I was going to write a post to weigh out the pros and cons of Mr Zahid, but then I thought that would be like exposing his faults, so I decided to leave it, instead I'll just say what you all probably know by now- he seems confused, doesnt know where to put his priorities? too busy? Although his emaan seems really good, he has quite a lot of knowledge mashaAllah he is funny and has good looks and is focused on his goal of helping the Ummah... but ye so I am just letting go of the whole situation
and focusing on deeny matters :) got soooo much to do, read, learn. And especially as Ramadan is cominngggg!!! :D

Oh and yay I have an award for blogging! From my lovely big sis in Islam Is-za Jelass Thankyou :) now I have defo got to raise standard of my blog. I know exactly how (I think lol).
Ok the rules of the award are to say where you see in yourself in 10 years and also pass the award on to 10 other bloggers.

Hmm.... this will take me a while...

In 10 years INSHAALLAH I want to be here or in an Islamic country, with a stable family life with about 2 beautiful children and a very practising Muslim husband from the west. I want to be studying Islam and teaching it to others in my own Islamic school or class sort of thing. Even if it is a just a weekly class with about 30 children. I intend to be living a very simple life, no extravagance or riches just Allah, Islam and my family (ofcourse a small house and food aswel! oh and maybe camel :) ) I want to have my own psychological practice/ clinic (if I have done a phD by then) or work in a place that gives councel and adivce to Muslims and those with mental problems or be a marriage mentor. Whichever way the wind blows. Just something so that I can try and get rid of some distress from peoples lives. I also want to adopt an orphan! Definately.

From now I aim to study Islam with the resources I have, try and get closer to the Qur'an to get closer to Allah and memorise as much of the Qur'an as I can after learning tajweed, I want to learn the arabic language and be an aalima (inshaAllah!)that is something I reallyyyy want to do, and I want to have a little side business of maybe selling some art and donating some of the earnings to charity, I also aim to learn the exercise of Rakha and become an instructor so I can benefit the Muslim women and their health as well as myself. And ofcourse studying in uni to my best so I can be in the job I want inshaAllah
Ok I feel like I dont have enough aims lol maybe I do and more will add on as tim goes but I just need to make sure I find the means to reach these goals and STICK TO THEM! inshaAllah. I feel very motivated now so I will begin doing today what I can.
Keep each other in your du'as :) May Allah give us all success in everything we do, help us to do it for His pleasure and work in His cause, and keep us guided on the straight path. Ameen

Drained

Salaam dudes and dudettes... I hope you're all good. I feel rather bored on here, feel like changing the blog design again, but this one looks so neat!

Anyways... Anyone know anyone who is a marriage mentor?

P.s. I gave 'My 1st Prospect' a name- ZAHID. I don't know where it came from but it means devotee, religious or something along them lines. Jst thought I should add an identity lol, although it is not his real name ofcourse.
Oh wait I could have called him Yusuf, I love that name.

My days have not been that busy buuut my mornings up to early afternoon are soo gay!!
wake up- housework- housework-housework- cook- cook- tidy- roti- clear up- ughh its so tedious and repetitive and drains all the enrgy out of me!
Annoys me because people don't put their effort in with the tidying, and things always get so messy again!! and I cant stand mess! really wrecks my mood.

Anywho washing machine is calling me ..yaaay(!) ¬_¬

entertain me dudes I need a reason to blog more lol, where are the fans?

x

Life on Venus

I know I took a longgg time to get here. But I lost my passport and could not get into the shuttle! (I forgot my username and passowrd and couldn't log on to blogger! lol) Until yesterday when I remembered how to get in. And I am losing the commitement of going through the book and typing things up lol but no I WILL EXPLORE SPACE!
Ok into Venus we go...

First and foremost, the Venusians have different values. They value love <3, communication, beauty and relationships. They give a lot of help and support to each other and they gain a sense of self through their feelings and the quality of their relationships, through sharing and relating they gain fulfillment.

Their world is rather opposite to that of the Martians, whereas Martians love work and technology, Venusians' main concern is living in harmony and cooperation. They do not wear the outfit of competence, rather they wear outfits to express their feelings and may change several times aday because of their changing moods. Rather than achieving succss they feel it is more important to share personal feelings. Ok guys, to understand this about women you need to relate it to the feeling you have when you accomplish a goal or solve a problem.

They are very involved in personal growth and everything that can nurture life, they are very intuitive and a sign of great love is to offer help when another Venusian is in need of it. Offering help to Venusians from Venusians is not seen as offensive because they dont need to prove their competence, and asking for help or needing help is not seen as a sign of weakness.

However when a woman offers advice to a man, he may feel offended because he will think she is doubting him or not trusting his baility to be able to do things by himself and may make him feel incompetent and weak. But when a man offers his advice to her, she likes it because it makes her feel loved and cherished. Offering advice is seen as an act of love and Venusians like to point out things that can be improved because improving things is in their nature and they believe if something is working it can always work better. However on Mars, as everything is solution-orientated, Martians believe if something is working then don't change it- 'Don't fix it unless it is broken'
This Mars motto means that if a woman tries to improve a man, he will feel like she is trying to fix him! = 'am I broken??? I am broken?? :S no I am not so why is she trying to fix me?'

Girls, don't try to fix him, even though our intentions are innocent and loving- we just want to help him grow, he is from another planet so your attempt to help may result in him being humiliated! Think twice.

Martians and Venusians have great attributes, but most of the time they fail to use them correctly with the correct timing and correct approach. Men need to be aware that if a woman is babbling on about her problems and everything from A-Z YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX THEM ALL...just listen. She is not solution orientated like a man, so if you offer lots and lots of solutions and yet she still keeps talking about her problems, don't worry, she doesn't necessarily need the solutions, all she needs is your ears! She doesn't need to be fixed and will most likely get better on her own.

And women, unecessary soliciting should be avoided, especially if he has made a mistake. It will make him feel un-loved and controlled. He needs your acceptance more than your adivce to make him learn from his mistakes. e.g.

1- Venusian- 'Oh look what you've done! Why did you do this you should have done this like this and not like that! Next time do this like that and that like this and this wont happen again! I already told you before'= Martian 'what's wrong with you woman! I know what I'm doing, stop nagging me!'

2- Venusian- 'Oh no, you've done it again. Never mind it's fine we can sort it out later, thes things happen'= Martian 'aw I'm sorry dear, next time I know what to do'

A bit extreme examples but you get the picture. Last point-
A woman does appreciate Mr. Fix-it, as long as he doesn't come out when she is upset. And a man does greatly appreciate the suggestions of improvement from a woman but as long as it is requested.

In the next post we will look at what happens when a Martian and Venusian reject the percieved sign of love and care from the other. (Rejecting the advice and rejecting the imrpovement)

Life on Mars

Hey there :) Ok so I could have typed this post earlier becuase I had already read the 1st couple of chapters!
The 1st chapter gives summaries of the other chapters in the book and basically says that Men and Women clearly have differences, different thoughts, values, behaviours, emotions and different ways of expressing emotions and dealing with situations.
Men expect women to think, communicate and react the way they do and women expect men to feel, communicate and respond the way that women do. This results in conflict. All you have to remember is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.Be aware of the differences, take time to understand each other so you may respect each other. And don't become demanding, resentful, intolerant and judgemental.
'When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom'


Women always complain that men don't listen, men complain that women are always trying to change them. A women wants empathy, he thinks she wants solutions. A man wants acceptance, but women persist in trying to 'help' them and then the man feels like he is being controlled. We need to understand why men offer solutions and women why women seek to improve.

Lets go meet the Martians!

They value power, competency, efficiency and achievment. Thier sense of self is defined through the ability to achieve results and accomplishment. While women fantasize about romance men fantasize about fast cars and poweful technology. They are pre-occupied with things that help them express power by achieving their goals. Achieving goals is veyr important to them because it shows their competence and makes them feel good about themselves. No one else can achieve for him so they pride themselves in doing things by themselves. If women understand this about Martians they should understand why they resist being corrected or being told what to do. The issue of competence is very important, so if a woman comes along and starts telling the man 'oh do this like this do that like that' and giving unsolicited advice, it's like they are presuming that he can't do it on his own.
Because they handle problems themselves, they don't really talk about their problems unless its an urgency. Asking for help when you can do it yourself is seen as a sign of weakness. However when they do need to ask for advice then it is a sign of wisdom. They will find someone they respect, and the other Martian will then feel honoured, get into his Mr Fix-it suit and offer some gems of advice.


When a women starts talking about her feelings and the problems in her day and every other problem she has, a man thinks 'oh she needs advice' and gets into the Mr Fit-it suit and shows his love and willingness to help by offering advice.
He wants to help, he wants to be useful, be worthy of value and thus worthy of love from her, and hence offers advice. BUT... women just talk and talk, and the poor Martian is bombarded with these problems one after another even when he has offered a solution! If the Venusian is still upset (as women tend to grab every problem once they get started!) he will find it difficult to listen becuase he will think that she keeps talking about the problems because his advice was not good and therefore he thinks 'she's rejecting my advice!' and his Mr Fix-it suit gets stained as he feels he is not able to help. However, all he needs to know is-

just by listening with interest and empathy he can be supportive. She doesn't necessarily require solutions, but rather just someone to listen. Most Martians fail to note that when a Venusian is talking about a problem it is not an invitation to offer a solution.


In the next post we will travel to Venus.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

I hope you are well. With my last exam dawning, and the holidays peeking over the horizon, I've decided to make use of my time in many ways that can benefit me as well as others, on the internet and inside the home as well as outside in the community.

Everyone must have heard of the book by John Gray: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus; A Practical Guide For Improving Communication and Getting What You Want In Your Relationship.

If you've read it then thats great, if not then thats not so great :P (I'm in the middle of reading it, but I wil start again from the start instead of jumping thorugh chpaters). Anyways, either way, you can read summaries and important points from the Chapters (and maybe even whole chapters!) on my blog, for the next few weeks. (This week will be slow because of my exam and other work but it will be done)

It will really benefit people. It covers a lot of aspects and really conveys clear messages and tips and advice, a 'much needed book' 'valueable' 'a superb guide' and 'a fascinating book that offers hope and insight into having a whole and healed relationship'
I read a couple of chapters and was really in there! Even put what I read into practice and it works wonders lol.
Until next time folks- Peace out

Watch this space ^_^

x

Defence of Faith

Asalaamulaikum. Here's the notes on the lecture about how we need to be doing A LOT more than we are doing now, (I alluded to it in comment on a previous post)

You are never too young to achieve, influence and make an impact

The perception that people had about life in the past motivated them and pushed them to do more with the time they had.
Today, we relax, thinking we have many years.

In the past, education didn't follow a standard, time- dependent, education system. The lack of heirachies made people believe that they are not restricted, and why should we be? Now, people believe we can't do certain things until a certain time, we are somewhat conditioned to follow the system and this leads us to limit ourselves. For example, we don't read University books until we are at that age or at that level, but why wait til that age, what is stopping us? this is one of many examples and it has a negative impact on heroism.

Roots of Greatness Come From Within You

If we look at A'isha (radiallahu anha), she learnt to read and write, she learnt medicine, through her own incentive. And look at what a great woman she became, alhamdulillah. Age was not relevant, for any of the sahabah, as long as they could achieve and survive. Their lives were short, they had no standardized cirriculum and this lead to early achievement
Even from this small example we should realize, if we want to do something, just do it. Especially nowadays, we have so many resources available to us but even still we don't make full use of them. No one but ourselves is losing out.

Be Busy

Keep yourself away from distractions and increase responsibility.

Discover your talents, your abilities and be yourself

The Prophet (salallahu 'alaihi wasallam) had a great way of talking to his companions, he would talk to them within their limits, he knew their strengths and encouraged them to fulfill their potential.
For example: Amr Ibn Al-'Aas, who converted to Islam 2 years before the Prophet's death, was asked to lead the battle (Muslim conquest of Egypt) and lead those who had been Muslim all their lives.
He asked who the Prophet loved most, and was told that even though he may not be number one to him, he is number one on the field. He realised his talent. Even if others questioned his position, the Prophet new best.
So even if others are doubtful, don't doubt yourself and do not lower the limits on yourself, everyone has great potential and if you know your potential, use it. Identify and compete, not with others but with yourself and your potential, if you are good then be better. Stick to your own abilities but draw benefits from others. And don't direct your aim to strengthening your weak points but rather spend time working on and building up on your strong points.
But remember talent is not enough, you need things alongisde it such as patience, perseverance, discpiline. With these, you will achieve. InshaAllah.

Be ambitious and set your bar high

(from lecture by Hesham Al-Awadi)

I can be anywhere do anything and be mindful of God...

Asalaamulaikum :)

I am a very happy chappy today alhamdulillah (well now I am, I'm not sure how I was during the day lol) anywho... I went to see my cousin in hospital, on the way there, when I was walking toward the hospital I saw a brother walking toward me (so the opposite way) I just looked once and tried to restrain myself because ofcourse second look is sinful and he looked religious, islamic clothing, and a beard, (can't be too sure about his religiousness but what is built up inwardly, usually manifests itself outwardly). I passed him and thought...'hmm I need to meet my husband soon lol hope he looks like that'.. na anyways that weren't the point of this post.

You know on the way back from the hospital, I saw alot of things that really made me think and reflect.
I saw this Asian guy, Bengali or Pakistani, walking and holding hands with a non-Muslim.
I'm not sure if he was Muslim but most likely was, can't help to think I'm so blessed to be guided. But it pains me to see the the Muslims doing what they are doing, indulging in the dunya, following their desires and forgetting who they are or what they are here for :( May Allah guide them and guide us. Ameen

And I saw girls, going out for their saturday night partying, clubbing, with their their hair and faces done and walking the streets in their little dresses and skirts, half naked...and the first thing I thought was 'it must be so hard for my brothers'.
Ofcourse its a sin to look at unlawful things, and you have to control your desires, but these people make it soooo hard for you (brothers).. Especially now summer is coming and the littlest bit of sunshine and everyones clothes come off! Astaghfirullah. Its hard to lower the gaze as it is but when people are dressed like that its 100 times harder, like for the sisters, the guys who walk around with no tops on, showing off their arms and their pacs!
Trials are everywhere, we have to be sooo careful and ALWAYS remember Allah is watching, the harder your struggle the greater the blessing. So keep striving for Allah's pleasure and stay away from places where it may make your situations much harder. But brothers, I do feel for you. Why can't these girls have abit of self-respect and modesty. Would make things so much easier for you lot. May Allah give you the strength to stay firm on the deen. Ameen

Last thing I'm going to touch on-
Ok so I was almost home, there were a few men, sorta young, probably drunk, walking down the road, me and mum went past and one of them just shouts 'Oi seexxxy!!' I was thinking 'wut? My mom?' lool joking.. I was so embarrassed, uneasy, I tried to pretend I heard nothing and just quickly got in the house. These people scare me.
Even at the hospital, I was in the day room place with my lil cousin and we had the tv on and a man came in and looked at us, stood there for a while watching the tv and then left. And then he came back and sat down next to me (there were other seats)...And I felt kinda uncomfortable. I know he was just a normal man sitting down but I still felt sort of like 'umm uh oh'..

Hmm... look all around you, doesn't it feel like a prison? The whole world as well as our own areas. Fear and injustice everywhere, so much sin all around us, so hard to be who we are. But I am greatly thankful that I am a Muslim, gives me the peace, and the community makes me feel safe and its a lovely warm feeling, so blessed. Alhamdulillah. :)

I'de like to end with a few lines from this song:

I wont cry over a world that can't change my life I put my money on what lies ahead in paradise

(A land called Paradise: Kareem Salama)

Completeness

Guys are my weakness!
I say it so bluntly because there is no point denying or trying to distance the fact, I know it, Allah knows it so who cares if someone else knows it eh lol... I know my weaknesses and I like other people to tell me if I have any bad characteristics and to criticise me (gently lol) we can't imrpove if we don't know what to imrpove on.
Anyways...bit more to the point of this post-

I use to feel like I'm incomplete; like my deen, my behavior and my personality are lacking something. I felt like..maybe if I have someone (as in, a husband) I'd be complete. That I'd be a whole lot better and that this weakness would then be my strength.
I use to be close to one guy then another guy (not relationship, just friendship but with slight feelings) and I felt like I had that support and 'love' but when there was no guy I felt quite empty and like I just needed a partner. But I'm glad I left guys because that emptyness that was there, it wasnt there to be filled with a guy's love it was there to be filled with love for Allah.

SubhanAllah, as soon as I stood on my own two feet, I really connected with Allah, I turned to Him for everything and talked to Him all the time and tried my best to do everything to make Him happy and my life and my self felt soooo complete I can't even explain. My Deeny-ness increased, my behaviour and personality got moulded into that of a proper Muslimah. My weakness with guys turned into my strength with my Lord. It filled the gaping hole of incompleteness in my heart to a state of overwhelming wholeness.

And it is in this state of completeness that one should go into marriage. That way you are always full of love, and your not leaning on the partner so much that they will snap, and even if things go a bit pear-shaped from time to time, your heart will still feel complete because you will always have Allah with you.
Once we have gained this completeness, marriage will be much easier inshaAllah.

On a different note, as soon as your around 21/22 (for girls) it's like your the bait on the fishing line, parents finding rishta's (potential partners), other parents looking for partners for their sons, all fishing around while hardly any ask us what WE want. Maybe I'm generalising too much but it's what I feel.
I personally think we shouldn't have to wait til a certain age, the Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraged us to marry young. If more people did this, instead of getting influenced by modernism, there would be less illegal sexual relations, less zina, less kids going behind their parents backs and sinning infront of Allah because the need for companionship and intimacy would be fulfilled when it arised.

I feel like parents don't even talk to their kids about marriage as much as they should, in the way that they should. The most my mum has said to me is (to keep it simple) 'your cousin is a nice boy, you should marry him, he will be good in the family'... Obviously no girl from the west is going to want to marry their freshie cousin. I know parents are more wise and stuff but a lot of us teens aren't exactly dumb. We know what to look for in our potential spouse. And those who are more into their religion will sometimes know more than the parents.
For example is it wrong for me to not have a Mendhi? Is it wrong for me to not want to change my name after marriage? Is it wrong for me to want a small marriage in a masjid? I know our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) has told us smaller marriages gain more blessing, and none of his wives had a mendhi did they. All I want is to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah as much as I can, especially when starting a new chapter in my life. But my family seems to think they know better. Especially mum and older sis! They look at me like I'm speaking a loud of nonsense :S

I know I'm going on a bit but it's an interesting topic lol.
When me my sis and mates are talking about marriage, I tell them- marriage should not be our goal, it is just a means of getting closer to Allah. And I tell them I can't wait to get married, not just because I'll have someone there but because I can focus on everything properly, especially religion. All I have to do is keep the guy happy :) lol (easier said than done ofcourse)
But ye, I want to do alot in life and the only way I can is if my husband is someone like-minded so he can help me fufill my dreams as well as succeeding at his own.. inshaAllah... And what is most important is the joining of two complete hearts, supporting each other on the right path.

To My Husband

Ok well this post is not to my husband because I do not have one... yet lol

I've decided to write a letter to my husband. Whoever he is, wherever he is.

If I write to him (or pretend I'm writing to him and then give it to him when I'm married, or let him accidentally find it lol) anyway I will feel like he's in my life already and that I'm with him and it will stop me thinking about marriage so much that way and help me focus on what is happening at present in my life, that is important for my future.
I know whoever he is, he is waiting just like I am. And we will be looking for each other and by Allah's will we will find each other. We made a promise to each other before we were born, when we met in heaven. We promised we would be together. I hope to stay single and free of men until I meet him, otherwise I feel I would be cheating him and betraying him. I regret previous relationships and I hope he will not be disheartened and love me never the less.
Because I changed for Allah, and Allah still loves me.
And I will love my husband for the sake of Allah.

He may not be untouched, but I will remain untouched for him.
He may not remember the promise, but I will remind him.
He may not remember me, but I will keep remembering him.

My Inspiration

Just thought I'de write this up so I can look back at it and keep my inspiration engine revvvving :)
So here's some people who inspire me in different aspects of my life, my thoughts and ambitions, my goals and aspirations.

Malcom X & Muhammad Ali- nuff said :)
Great men, done extremely well throughout their lives in the sense that they gained success in the eyes of the generations to come and their lives hold so many lessons for all of us. How they followed their own stars and didn't trail behind the herd of sheep. How they both found Islam and found true peace despite the difficulties around them. We can learn how our fears of 'what will people think' should NEVER hold us back, we should hold on tight to what we believe, for justice and for truth, no matter how many boulders block our way. The hearts of these men were/ are so pure and so good, only filled with desire for love and brotherhood.

On a different note you have;
Mohammed Ali Aerosol Arabic- You have to check his work out, sooo talented mashaAllah- http://www.aerosolarabic.com/v2/index.php
His work never fails to amaze me. Shows what you can do if you keep working on your strengths.

Sister Farzana Khundmir- she is the founder of www.TheMuslimCoach.Com. She trained as a Life Coach, in Canada, under Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef, and obtained her degree in Psychology from University College London. She specialises in business coaching, marketing and web design. She has also conducted numerous workshops and webinars. Sister Farzana is passionate about helping sisters uncover their hidden potential.

Sister Fatima Barkatualla
Mother of 3 boys aged 8, 6 and 4...has homeschooled and now has children at school. Has written for various Muslim and non-Muslim publications including emel Magazine, SISTERS Magazine, The Muslim Weekly, The Times newspaper and Times Online. Presenter for the Ask About Islam show on Radio Reality. Has been an Arabic language teacher and is an iERA da'wah course instructor.

Zohra Sarwari
International Speaker, International Author, Home Schooling teacher, and Life and Business Coach- her motto;
"Do Your Best And Let The Creator Take Care Of The Rest"

Its amazing to see how people progress and develop, they not only help themselves in the process but help others, eveyrone starts small but as time goes on things get bigger and better, I haven't failed to notice the efforts put in by regular people in order to achieve their goals, and this really motivates me, take the following for example;

The brothers and sisters behind
Productive Muslim and Productive Muslimah-

http://www.productivemuslim.com/
http://www.productivemuslim.com/productivemuslimah/

And habibi halaqas-
http://www.habibihalaqas.org/

And I'll leave it at that :)

EARLY start!

Asalaamulaikum dudes!
I have finally managed to wake up for fajr and stay awake and do some work! :D

Since a week or so I have been trying to change my routine because I sleep too much (and still feel tired) and I have lots of things to do! I decided to sleep around 11 then wake up for fajr and stay awake then sleep between Zuhr and Asr.
My fajr salah has been missed for a few days because like I said, I sleep too much.
But I know it's not a light matter and I pray Allah keeps giving me the strength to pray it everyday.

I managed to type up my essay this morning, ok that doesn't sound like much but I feel like its a good accomplishment when I say 'I finished my essay' :) alhamdulillah. Oh wait, I'm 5 words over the word limit, my conclusion is a tad bit short and I have not done the references, I hate these little things, I can't be bothered to do them because they take ages but gotta be done I guess.

I feel like a nice cold bowl of coco-pops :)

Exams start in 2 weeks and I have not started memorising my notes! InshaAllah I'll be fine. As will those of you who also have exams, just keep your days productive and don't leave things to the last minute (I think I should take my own advice lol).

Ok as you can probably tell from my unstructured post I don't really have anything of interest to say. I shall be off, to touch up on the essay.

Goodmorning :)
x